Meri Brown Reflects on Past Pregnancy Loss in Emotional Post: ‘He’d Be 15 Now’

The ‘Sister Wives’ star opened up on Instagram about a past pregnancy loss, sharing she “often wonders what life would be like with him here”

Meri Brown is opening up about a past pregnancy loss.

The Sister Wives star, 52, shared an Instagram post on Wednesday in which she spoke candidly about a pregnancy loss she experienced 15 years ago.

In a lengthy caption, the reality TV star wrote, “Today was a travel day for me, and as I was driving through this town tonight, I saw a group of three teenage looking boys, maybe 15 or 16, walking down the street, hands in pockets, chit chatting away, and I just had to smile and almost sort of giggle to myself.”

“It was a fun, and even bittersweet, moment for me, realizing that had my baby survived, he might be engaging in that same sort of teenaged banter, and having those same sort of memorable teenaged moments,” the TLC star continued.

“Granted, I don’t know for sure that my baby was even a boy, but my gut tells me it was. He’d be 15 now, and I often wonder what life would be like with him here.”

“There’s often a lot of sorrow and pain surrounding that loss, but having that moment of joy today, seeing those boys happy and alive, was healing in a way for me. Just one of today’s little moments of gratitude,” Brown concluded.

In December, PEOPLE confirmed that Meri had left her marriage with Kody Brown after 32 years. Meri and Kody share 27-year-old Leon. It was later confirmed on TLC’s Sister Wives: One on One special that Kody walked away from the relationship.

At the time, Meri explained how she knew her marriage was over: “You know, our first anniversary that we had here in Flagstaff, it was cheers to a new beginning as opposed to this last anniversary he’s like, ‘I don’t even know why you called me Meri.’ He’s like, ‘We’re not married. We’re not acting as married.'”

She added, “I said to him, ‘Then if that’s where we are, don’t you think that we should address that publicly?’ And he said, ‘No I don’t want to address it. I don’t want that to be out there publicly because I don’t want that judgment.'”

In February, Meri gave fans an update that revealed her relationship status. On her Instagram story, she shared a quote that read “Relationship Status: committed to inner peace, growth, self love and gratitude.”

Meri added a second quote to her Instagram Story, affirming, “If your life just got a little harder, that probably means you just leveled up.”